For a video that opens with a shot of Lady Gaga whispering, "my heart sometimes feels so black," Thierry Mugler's Spring 2012 is so long it's criminal. A whole five minutes is devoted to similar nonsense, as if there weren't enough to pay attention to in the world. I'd like to believe this video, and everything about it, is a giant joke on the part of the creative team. Mugler designer Nicola Formichetti and Lady Gaga are so full of themselves that there's no sense of humor or even vision to be had, but shutterbugs Inez and Vinoodh are real people with real talent! They, at least, had to be kidding in order to make the clip, right?
For all the complaining I can do about the short film, I can't whine about Lady Gaga's diamond teeth implants. Cut to bucktooth shape from marquise diamonds, sources confirm that her dental bill for putting them in was astronomical. I bet insurance didn't even cover it. But it's kind of a good look, and one of the few major alterations I'd get, personally, if I were a hugely famous pop star. Don't make me justify that statement. I'm hoping she keeps them in, but there are some liabilities: Lil Wayne has his own set of diamond-bedazzled teeth, and he can no longer eat solid food. Maybe that's why Gaga's heart is so black: she's famished.